I was perusing Pulse (my favorite news aggregator app) when I saw an article titled "Four ways to respond to comments about your weight." Alright.... So despite it being from a fitness magazine I thought I'd give it a go....well that was a mistake. The entire article was about being defensive and explaining yourself, despite the #1 way to respond was "don't be defensive." This naturally prompted me to be work on my own list. As a woman of a plumper size and a brazen attitude, I'm accustomed to the glances and occasional passive-aggressive comments, though direct comments are far less common; so when on the rare occasion I do get comments I find any of the following suffice....
1) I love my fat ass. It's beautiful, and desirable, and if I were thinner my ass would be flatter. Let's be honest, as a white girl, the only thing keeping my ass from being a pancake is my chub. In fact, I occasionally jiggle my fat to remind me of the hot, thick butts on Tumblr. Also.... It makes for an easier target to smack during sex. The odds are there isn't a hand too big for my buttocks. :)
2) I have zero plans to hit the gym with a false new years resolution. My wardrobe is perfect for my size, and really do I want to spend time with skinny bitches overtly judging my jiggle... No. So I shall, instead, refine my most excellent oral sex skills, or kissing skills, because yes, people want to get all up in my fat. Often.
3) As I age, my body become softer, but no less beautiful. This softness simply makes me more appealing. Why? Because softness is comfort; therefore, my body is the physical manifestation of comfort. How many people can say that?
4) Have you considered seeking out your lord and savior, Lord Cheesesnack? You, too, can be plump and Sexy if you just ate more cheese! It's okay.... Your significant other will be serving you rare and divine cheeses from around the world so you can plump up too. It's okay to love the chub.
Brilliant, isn't it? GO FORTH AND SPREAD THE LOVE
That's four more reasons to love you more :-)
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